Am I Fooling Myself Poem by bree nada

i say i really love you
and i think about you day and night
but am i fooling myself by doing all this
im begining to think that i truely am
deep down inside i just want a boyfriend so i can flaunt it to the world
so i can show those who didn't want me before that now it's too late
you see i've been thinking
if i was to really be your girlfriend, once i showed the world i had you i would love you no more
it's not fair to you or me
because im messing with both of our emotions, this cant be
am i fooling myself?
have i gotten so deep into my lies that im believing that i once loved you
all these love poems which i have written about heart ache and pain
i've lied to myself so much im going insane
no i dont love you
no, i just want a boyfriend
no this cant be the truth
get the gun and shoot!
what have i done to myself
what a mess i've made
so desperate to have someone by my side
this is so wrong
what's become of me
i was desperate for attention
and that's what i got
so in return i gave you love
but now i forgot
this isnt love i feel for you
its lust
i just want you to think about me 24/7
i want to drive you crazy like others drove me with their lies
lets see what it feels like to intoxicate someone with love
all my other loves who did not love me back left me bitter
now i want to see an innocent soul die
you happened to be my victim, you fell into my lie
im sorry my love, but my heart's far too cold to stop this now
i wont stop until you've whispered those sweet words i crave to hear
'i love you like no other' yes, now shed me a tear
let me see someone else cry besides me
i want to see you mad with love
and i'll stop at nothing less
for this im sorry love
but all the others have turned me bitter and heartless