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kanav justa

Rookie - 940 Points (Shimla)

A Shitty Poem 2


time, drowns quick, like a stone in sea
in a day 10 times why do you have to pee
if you want to save your time, you better listen to my every line

only empty when you start to overflow
I bet with time your talent would grow
my friend your life like a sun then would shine

if you listen what I say or do what I tell you to do
in a day just go one time to the loo
and see how you roam in town just like a king

and if you listen to this next advice
for this you would have to pay no price
while you pee your favorite song you can merrily sing

so from today , no more standing in queue
or pee inside of the oceans blue
you only pee just once, at night before you sleep

so now you pee only 365 times in an year
you might wet your pants but still don’t fear
tell me my friends this promise would you keep

from now, in a day you will save an hour
no more wasting your time in finding a tower
or a pole that once you would find to go for pee

that extra time you could spend with your girl
you can sing, you can dance, with her you can twirl
if you want, with her you can share this advice

time my friend weighs more that the gold
so from today, your pee you have to hold
and add in your boring life, a little spice

Submitted: Thursday, January 30, 2014
Edited: Friday, January 31, 2014

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

when thougts are stuck, dung comes out.

Comments about this poem (A Shitty Poem 2 by kanav justa )

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  • Rookie - 20 Points Michael Riley Shutt (2/4/2014 1:08:00 AM)

    You have done some terrific work.
    On a cold, empty, frigid Indiana night, this one made me laugh, and that is what I needed.
    Thank you for that, Kanav! (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,547 Points * Sunprincess * (1/31/2014 11:31:00 PM)

    ......kanav I tried following your advice and it didn't work....I had to go and let it flow more than once...no I did not wet my pants, so don't worry...and I must tell you something I LOVE THIS POEM....it has very good rhyme, rhythm and FLOW: p (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,784 Points Deepak Kumar Pattanayak (1/31/2014 9:28:00 AM)

    Why inept.? ....it's full of humour, full of romance, full of insights......just you need to crack it.........Kanav............
    you are simply superb.........I enjoy reading your poems..... (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,402 Points Dinesh Nair (1/31/2014 9:23:00 AM)

    Once Aswath Ramalingam had written a similar poem and it is your turn now Kanav
    What you have written here, I hope has given you a little break from taking up the usual stuff...
    There ends the matter. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,547 Points * Sunprincess * (1/31/2014 12:35:00 AM)

    .....a beautiful poem...thanks for writing the sequel to a shitty poem..
    .i will try this today and let you know how it works for me: p (Report) Reply

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