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This morning as the fog rolled in
I sat among the seagulls in the harbour,
a whiff of smoke among the clouds
descending slowly now, to meet the sea,
bold letters painted, stated Censor Ship.
Later that day I met the captain in the Bar,
we talked about the mission of his vessel.
'We aim to keep the oceans clean of filth,
and have just very recently expanded
our efforts to include the excrements of fish
and other creatures, which is simply filth,
young man you soon will find that our work
will turn the waters lilywhite without debris
or plankton and the size of fishes will soon be,
I call it equalised in size and shape, one species
will be the future, mind you bigger fish will still
and always be allowed to eat the smaller ones,
the difference lies strictly within digestion,
no discharge is permitted into waters as I said,
the fish who swallows, logically gets bigger,
and bigger and stays that way, it means the end,
once and for all, of all pollution, foul as it is, my friend.
All trees will then be saved since no more paper
need be produced for purposes of wiping bottoms,
oh yes, I had not mentioned that we will expand
the system to include the human race as well.
In my considered and extremely learned high opinion
mistakes were made when God created this dilemma,
which he called world, he did not have the facts
nor could he thus foresee what the word crap could do
and be, just by its presence, in all innocence, it's crap.
And that will have to be a part of ancient history,
I do deserve big thanks to have the foresight in my mind.'
'How very interesting', it was my quick response,
'but how will anyone just grow, and keep inside
the filth you aim to clean the world of, will it not
lead to a fulminating case of global constipation?
When size has equalised all creatures will be big,
what will the food be in the chain that now exists,
will there be room for beast and man of giant size,
and to be honest, this does smack of communism,
or Kibbutzism, if I may coin a word, what will it be,
are you intending to eliminate all freedom, la liberté,
along with filth and shit and merde and all Scheisse? '
'You do not understand, my valued friend, egalité,
a term that should have been enforced since the Bastille,
is what I promise, right along with fraternité and liberté.
My brave new world will bring pure freedom to us all,
as the extermination of improper words and deeds
engulfs the world you will be in the envious position
to wallow in the freedom to obey, to have the given
and unalienable right to do exactly what you will be told.'
He had, I must admit, with charismatic eyes and tongue,
convinced me, after all, that cleanliness was, well you know.
Herbert Nehrlich
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