I did everything I could
- which was nothing.
So there’s nothing left to do
- but do nothing.
In the place where you stood
- now there’s nothing.
Where there used to be you
- there’s just nothing.
When I wake up, beside me
- there’s nothing.
To fill up my time
- I’ve got nothing.
In my gut, deep inside me
- there’s nothing
except you. Girl, I tried
- it meant nothing.
When you left me,
you left me with nothing.
i like the premise of the poem....a small suggestion if you're open to it...why not use the line 'you took away everything' towards the end, just to shake things up but still saying the same thing...
Hi Ronald, Thanks very much for your comment. Criticism is welcome (especially when it is constructive, like yours!) . I agree with you, the 'except you' line is not great to read, although I think it sounds better out loud. The last two lines could do with a bit of work. What I'm trying to say is, 'You left me', as a strong, independent statement, then say, 'You left me with nothing', as separate statements. But the distinction is not clear. I often make small revisions to my poems after posting them so I may well return to this some day. Cheers, Jack
And, Jack... In that 'nothingness' proclaimed, all of you was 'had'. Given as an experience to explore the 'something' that life with you in it, is. Nice poem. Don't think of the ratings. Feel the freedom of expression. Remain honest with yourself. And that is the gift you have.
Jack lovely poem..I think we have all been there some time or another...this nothing shouldn't matter...but this nothing ain't an easy thing!
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Tragic this nothing. It's so empty. Hopeless. Thanks for sharing. Well-written and from the heart.10+