ONElia AVElar

Rookie - 12 Points (Bulgaria)

A metamorphOasis


Huddled up in the cloister of her hair
beyond red lips her teeth - white rosary
It's all she needs to be a nun in privacy.

Huddled up in the veil of her hair
beyond red lips her teeth - white seeds
It's all she needs to sow longings.

Submitted: Thursday, July 09, 2009
Edited: Sunday, July 12, 2009

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  • Rookie Mystic Indian (8/24/2009 3:18:00 AM)

    short verses that create ripples in the lake of thoughts - striking very deep chords.10/10 and my vote! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Naseer Ahmed Nasir (7/23/2009 4:10:00 AM)

    Yes, its a metamorphosis, a complete change in her appearance and
    character. The magic transformation of a woman. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Roland Bastien (7/21/2009 9:54:00 AM)

    Refreshing- always above our simple human nature and lots
    - air- faith - desire - a new kingdom (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Emancipation Planz (7/20/2009 4:18:00 PM)

    beyond red lips her teeth...
    an oasis of ONE pAVEment...
    you plaster, dates for many...
    ... Annie get your gun... the firing range is hot with this one...

    always with the aroha, Deana (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Herbert Nehrlich2 (7/20/2009 6:40:00 AM)

    The tunes of melancholy come through for me. An exceptional poem and I agree there is a talent here that can say so much in so few words and with the loudly spoken gesture of such unfettered individuality.

    H (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 32 Points Donall Dempsey (7/15/2009 10:56:00 AM)

    Icredibly beautiful poem...loved it the minute I saw it. The repetitions are masterly and one just gets tangled up in the emotions hinted at that yet remains mysterious. I have just come across the word MIDAREOGAMI...which is Japanese for tangled hair and both the phrase and your poem have morphed into my mind as two things of beauty. I remain tangled in your feelings and words.

    love Dónall Dónall (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 77 Points C. P. Sharma (7/13/2009 1:46:00 AM)

    One, Yes, this poem is multi-layered. I find a metamorphOasis. You seem to have moved to a new poetic plane. Any way, it is magical.
    CP (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Janice Windle (7/12/2009 11:29:00 AM)

    As always, a beautiful multilayered picture, this time of passionate sadness. Your imagery, taken from the most passionate religion that I know of, is very strong and you achieve so much in so few words. Love, Jan x (Report) Reply

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