ONElia AVElar

Rookie - 12 Points (Bulgaria)


Fine, warm sand under the skin;
breeze playing with the long hair;
seagull`s yells and distant babel;
she feels invisible - stretched
on the overcrowded beach;
innocent, bare-back Eve
from the holy Bible.

Submitted: Friday, March 28, 2008
Edited: Friday, June 24, 2011

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Comments about this poem (Beach by ONElia AVElar )

  • Rookie Afzal Shauq (9/29/2009 2:31:00 AM)

    Fine, warm sand under the skin;
    breeze playing with the long hair;
    seagull`s yells and distant babel;
    she feels invisible - stretched
    on the overcrowded beach;
    innocent, bare-back Eve
    from the holy Bible.

    a great theme inter related to spritual saisfaction and symbolic way way of this type of poetry..your doing well and most of your poems are well written., .appreciate you (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 364 Points Indira Renganathan (6/24/2009 11:24:00 PM)

    A mood of trance...nice poem (Report) Reply

  • Rookie premji premji (5/15/2009 12:39:00 AM)

    a painting made of words.......... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Janice Windle (3/23/2009 4:11:00 PM)

    Surely a self-portrait, Onelia - you've captured the primitive feeling of joy, freedom and abandon to sensuality and the warm sun that one feels on a beach holiday... and I expect Adam was glad you were there too! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sebastine Humaemo (2/4/2009 1:14:00 PM)

    Ahhh lovely write...short and sweet................10++ sebastine (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Constantinos Grigoriadis (1/29/2009 8:19:00 AM)

    Few words.
    Great meaning..
    NIce work! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Akram Awadat (1/15/2009 5:02:00 AM)

    very beatiful pice
    keep writing (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tsira Goge (12/3/2008 11:24:00 AM)

    onelia, It is very beautiful and thin poems...10....

    Best wishes,
    Tsira (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 92 Points C. P. Sharma (11/18/2008 7:18:00 AM)

    Hail to thee blithe spirit!
    You sing the songs of bare being;
    The sun, the sea and the breeze,
    Like seagull, release the body's ring.
    CP (Report) Reply

  • Rookie David Desantis (9/26/2008 7:50:00 AM)

    onelia- it has been forever! It's great to see your still writing excellent poetry here...i like the way you make your point in only a few lines..i can imagine a beautiful eastern european woman lying on the beach, feeling free, and loving life...haha am i right? (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - -1 Points Ivan Donn Carswell (8/7/2008 11:01:00 PM)

    Sand under the skin in an atmosphere of Bibilical disonnance sets a classical scene - yet you rescue yourself with innocent(?) and timeless ingenuity! Rgds, Ivan (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 5 Points Paolo Giuseppe Mazzarello (6/7/2008 2:48:00 PM)

    Eve on the primordial beach. This author often feels estranged in crowded places. However here there's the sea element with all its appendages. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Emancipation Planz (5/16/2008 1:38:00 AM)

    Oh yes.. baskingly beautiful... there must be an apple placed somewhere.. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie R H (5/13/2008 6:22:00 AM)

    A wordpainting that has an emotional weight to it as the surroundings and the feelings of isolation in a crowded space are cleverly conveyed. There is a sense that the narrator is lost in a moment - alone in her own Eden perhaps unaware of everything else around her...justine. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 3 Points Original Unknown Girl (5/2/2008 11:30:00 AM)

    I agree with David. You've not wasted a word here, love the picture it paints in the mind. HG: -) xx (Report) Reply

  • Rookie David Desantis (4/29/2008 2:15:00 PM)

    the imagery is very intense, i picture a crowd of people, sun and laughter, and you isolated and alone. Perhaps contemplating a sin such as eve's original sin, has left you feeling like this on such a beautiful day? This is my favorite of your works so far 10/10 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 166 Points Dr.subhendu Kar (4/19/2008 3:52:00 PM)

    yet not baleful by the breeze
    warmth still croons by the yell
    innocence when rocked up
    in the vale of tunes.................wonderful poem, breath still stops for a moment by the gloss, unique imagery yet lucid and thought provoking, well penned, it deseves 10+, thanks for sharing (Report) Reply

  • Rookie K. V. Venkataramana (4/12/2008 12:24:00 PM)

    I enjoyed reading this poem with its rich imagery. Thanks for sharing. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Howard Johnson (4/8/2008 9:04:00 AM)

    A real pleasure to read, Onelia, Thank you for sharing (Report) Reply

  • Rookie R.k Das (4/3/2008 7:25:00 AM)

    there are some poems
    which need to be read, appreciated
    silently, , , , and never commented, ,
    this is one of them,
    and you write such poems, , ,
    thanx (Report) Reply

Read all 21 comments »

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