saadat tahir

Rookie - 555 Points (21011965 / Islamabad-Pakistan)

A Life Went Wrong.......the denial of life


On Hepatitis Day..approaching!

There he is, a very sick man.
Taut his face and a darkish tan.
Life for him, now a staple ban.
left not a friend nor a fan.

Wonder how others see him out.
Doubles he up in a coughing bout.
Think some, he's a filthy lout.
Punks skip by, give him a shout.

Cool and dig on the party scene.
Blonds and brunettes vied to lean.
Now he is ever hardly seen.
An no one else is either keen.

Seldom up an down the street.
Then, too often, he feels the heat.
Barely walks an drags his feet.
Eschewed even by a cop on beat.

Cringes he often clasps his hands.
Hair now thinned to wiry strands.
Stands he far at mounting stands.
Lonely soul from unknown lands.

Frail an done, lost and Gaunt.
Life's now just a slippery Slant.
No more welcome at his haunt.
He has no need and no want.

Life for him is a steady bad day.
Those he knew, turn, shy away.
Pitiable man that has no sway.
Caught up nature an yelled a stay!

Who'll pick up his dejected life?
Who's got the time for this rife?
A broken soul an body in strife.
Brooding days an toying a knife.

(Islamabad)
(May 14,2009)

Submitted: Thursday, May 14, 2009
Edited: Saturday, September 01, 2012

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  • Rookie - 53 Points Lady Darjeeling (8/21/2014 7:09:00 AM)

    thx for this truly absorbing poem.
    It's sad, but still - theres always someone who can see when another is suffering (be it physically or psychologically) ... which gives me hope. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,032 Points Kanav Justa (11/7/2013 10:45:00 PM)

    ... beautifully expressed... loved the way you wrote it and also the way you used the simili.. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Ozark Mountain Homegrown (9/1/2013 4:25:00 PM)

    A very moving and sad poem.. abandoned and rejected...unfortunately, as so many people are, who are facing disease, sickness and poverty.. very well written..Thank you for sharing... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 72 Points Yasmeen Khan (2/16/2013 2:03:00 PM)

    The story of a man in plight, drenched in empathy and compassion is well described.
    ''Good doctors feel their patients' pain, literally'' says a recent research. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Shirley Hanley (12/26/2010 6:36:00 PM)

    Saadat... I was deeply touched on a personal level by your poem as I come nearer to the end of this life...

    ~ Shirley (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Ashraful Musaddeq (6/17/2009 1:32:00 PM)

    'Who’ll pick up his dejected life?
    Who’s got the time for this rife?
    A broken soul an body in strife.
    Brooding days an toying a knife.'

    An excellent poem that touches inside.10+++ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Mamta Agarwal (6/15/2009 4:23:00 AM)

    very touching write. you have full control over your subject and vocabulary, which translates into vivid images and builds up the climax.
    this is untouchability in new garb.
    How it feels to be rejected and dejected, much harder to deal with than the actual disease and pain. ignorance and superstitions lead to a lot of cruelty.emotional pain hurts like a raw wound without scab.

    Mamta (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 196 Points Ruth Walters (6/14/2009 3:33:00 PM)

    Thankfully HIV need not cut life as short as before with all the new drugs available and people should be educated not to discriminate and be so scared of folk that contract it. A welcome portrayal of people's fears as it needs to be brought out into the open and discussed. Well done.

    Ruthy (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 18,264 Points Mehta Hasmukh Amathalal (6/9/2009 7:19:00 AM)

    Who’ll pick up his dejected life?
    Who’s got the time for this rife?
    A broken soul an body in strife.
    Brooding days an toying a knife...... sometimes we prove prone to diseases.. but who has the time........ good write dear (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Reshma Ramesh (5/31/2009 6:51:00 AM)

    hepatitis.........we dentists are very much prone to it.............scary....well penned (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Shashendra Amalshan (5/27/2009 2:29:00 AM)

    yeah a very rouching and well versed poem indeed..thank you very much...liked the narrative manner in which you portrayed it friend
    thanks
    10+++ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Duh Huh (5/25/2009 1:29:00 PM)

    I agree with John and Cindy. We can be so cruel to each other, its no wonder the children are killing each other. Thank you for sharing. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie John Lyday (5/25/2009 1:24:00 PM)

    Good rhyme Sadaat. It is sad how peoples lives can degrade like that. Good job. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Naidz Ladia (5/25/2009 8:33:00 AM)

    this is a nice piece expressing life as the most important component to live..life may vary in mode(, a good and bad) ..it depends on how to handle and manage...naizz (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Cindy Kreiner Sera (5/24/2009 2:27:00 PM)

    This is truly an astonishing poem of man's inhumanity to man! A compassionate and compelling write Saadat. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Anjali Sinha (5/24/2009 11:32:00 AM)

    hey you have painted a tragic scene
    I could see through those tinges of yellow
    and brown--check his billirubin
    nice poem dear saadat
    a tenner from meeeeeeeee anjuuuuuu (Report) Reply

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