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Asif Andalib

Rookie (27 November 1967 / Moez Monzil, Komlapur, Faridpur, Bangladesh)

A Cat


An unwelcome guest –
A cat sits on a wall
Beside the busy street!

Submitted: Monday, July 04, 2011
Edited: Saturday, August 13, 2011

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  • Rookie - 261 Points Adeline Foster (10/13/2012 12:57:00 PM)

    I do believe you have overlapped a syllable from the middle line onto the last line. You do very well with haiku however. It would appear that those who are commenting below do not recognize the haiku form of poetry. Auro even requests that you expand a haiku (chuckle, chuckle) .
    Adeline
    May I point out that it is mannerly to read other's and before asking them to read one's own. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 182 Points Karen Sinclair (9/28/2012 11:55:00 AM)

    The small writes of yours remind me of minimalism... perfect, just paint the picture and go... almost as a stencil on a wall... no wasteful meandering up paths which lead to nowhere... i am fast becoming a fan...tyvm karen (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,953 Points Walterrean Salley (2/28/2012 11:09:00 PM)

    Poor stray kitty (see them all the time) . Were nice if some one could give it a home. Short and sweet, and very touching. A pleasure to read. ***I'd be honored for your visit to my page; hope to see you there soon. Thanks. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Auro Bhattacharya (1/30/2012 8:21:00 PM)

    Fine indeed. I know the style of this kind of poetry too. However, this poem should have been more expressive. The theme has been wonderful and i would rather request you to expand it in your next attempt. Nicely done and i really enjoyed. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 127 Points Allemagne Roßmann (10/1/2011 10:34:00 AM)

    An unwelcome guest for food paradox and insecured life in the third worlds but cat is highly accepted in first and second worlds and are fondled to be an animal doing good with the mood swings of the children...the animals trust though is unpredictable as they tend to be important...cat sits on a wall though yet to decide on conditions he is put in...the third worlds for example a place in Bangladesh also India and Pakistan, Burma and Srilaka with Nepal, Bhutan where most of the times cats are stray without insurance and live a life at the cost of luck of health...in this context it is very well thought off poem.. (Report) Reply

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