01 - A Little Talk Poem by George Hunter

I was loafing on the back porch
Sipping on a cold beer
When the words came wafting out
Which I never liked to hear.
My wife was cooking in the kitchen
And I feared she was warming up
To do some serious bitchin'
A honeyed voice said
(and I was bound to balk)
"As soon as you've got the time
We've got to have a little talk."
I tried to think of some good suggestions
As to just what were my latest transgressions.
Did I sweep the welcome mat?
Did I remember to feed her mangy cat?
Did I spend too much at the bar?
Have I washed the family car?
It's hard to satisfy all her needs.
Is the garden free of weeds?
Have I taken out the trash?
Are we running out of cash?
I hate to hear those words,
Cutting like a tomahawk.
Honey, Babe
We've got to have a little talk.
Have I committed some sin of commission
Or is it more likely one of omission?
Are the storm windows up yet?
Have I brushed the family pet?
Can I remember not to frown
Did I put the toilet seat down?
Did I take down the Christmas tree?
Did I pick up my socks?
I think I'll just quit worrying
And have a Jack Black on the rocks.
I'm feeling tougher now
So I think I'll take a walk
Before I hear again those dreaded words
"We've got to have a little talk."