There was a gal from Timbuktu
Who got drunk every time she drank one brew.
I said, I understand your plight
So instead just drink a Miller Lite.
...
I was having trouble sleeping the other day.
Couldn't go to sleep when I hit the hay.
So I went to the store and bought a brand new sack
Hoping to relieve the pain in my back.
...
At Christmas she went to K Mart
Which wasn’t very smart.
She got in the way
Of a mob that day
...
As I was walking down the street
A man from Ives I chanced to meet.
I said, You're not real, you're from a rhyme
That as a child I read one time.
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I like to reread those tall tales
That I first heard as a kid
About God making the world
And all the other things he did.
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Here today and gone tomorrow
In this world of strife and sorrow.
Went out to check on the chickens today
...
Stumbled out of bed this mornin'
Don't know where I been.
Don't know what the haps last night
But it must have been a sin.
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There was a young man from St. Paul
Who found he had only one ball
He said we can use it
But we better not lose it
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Love me like you used to
When we were so young
With stars in our eyes
And our songs yet unsung.
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My name is Bud and I have one thing to say.
If you'll do this for me it will make my day.
When I die I have but one behest
Consider it my last request.
...