001 Light Beer Poem by George Hunter

There was a gal from Timbuktu
Who got drunk every time she drank one brew.
I said, I understand your plight
So instead just drink a Miller Lite.
It won’t put you in a stew.

In fact it’s the nearest thing to water
So try it out, you oughter
Just quaff it down
Don’t make a frown
Pretend you’re the preacher’s daughter.

She tried it out that day
And here’s what she had to say:
Now I can drink a brew
Maybe one or two
And keep from feeling gay.

Weak water-like Lite Miller
Is not a stomach filler
I know it’ll bore you
But has less calories for you
Endorsed by Phyliss Diller.

Myself, I like a stronger brew
With calories about one fifty two
With many a bitter hop
And a big ole head on top
A beer you can almost chew.

Something like English Porter or Stout
That’s what true beer is all about
Or an IPA India Pale
The best kind of ale
Will make you want to shout
Gimmie a brew with some clout!