Tall Tales Poem by George Hunter

I like to reread those tall tales
That I first heard as a kid
About God making the world
And all the other things he did.
About talking snakes and
Eating forbidden fruit
How God showed them they were naked
And then gave them the boot.

And the world’s first murder
Cain killing Abel
That sure added some spice
To that age-old fable.
And Noah building that great big boat
Stuffed so many animals in
That it would hardly float.

And how he went and slept with his daughter
And did a lot of other bad things
That he hadn’t oughter.
Begetting and begatting
Is what they liked to do
And it’s the same today
So I know it must be true.

I read about Samson killing an army
With the jawbone of an ass
He was a strong man
Until Delilah made a pass.
Cut all his hair off
And it left him so weak
That the former muscle man
Could hardly even speak.

I liked the one where Joseph's brothers
Threw him in a well
And stole his coat of many colors
That they thought that they could sell.
And old Moses, he parted the Red Sea
Now there’s a miracle I’d really like to see

Those are great stories if you let
Your imagination run riot
I used to believe all those tales
But now I just can’t buy it.
All I’ve got to say is, “Oh brother!
Faith is one thing but stupidity’s another! '