Clutching bed sheets,
heartbeat deafening;
muffling the sounds of
the last train to Century Park -
...
I am coming down with the flu
legs weak, knees breaking
under the weight of my body
skin and bones, skin and bones
...
Never in my life have I wanted
to be ripped apart inside and out
by hands so gentle,
a single touch
...
Restless hands and heavy eyes
define my posture and worry my mother
I beg for sleep to numb the pain
the pain of nothing, the invisible bruise //
...
Pig
Clutching bed sheets,
heartbeat deafening;
muffling the sounds of
the last train to Century Park -
whispers of my lover float
above my head,
and between my legs
Blood pumps unevenly,
flowing straight to the fingertips;
leaving my hands numb,
lost, dead, flopping
over the sides of my bed
The creases in my belly
(disgusting pig gut)
mock my posture,
and the spots on my face
mock my shapeless body
But you still love me so, only you
and my soul remains warm,
unchanged and untouched,
confused in this ugly corpse
this filthy pile of fat and bones
growing and bulging like a cancer
I keep it safe, just for you -
You lovely, blind fool
I promise;
when our skin meets again,
palm against palm,
I’ll be beautiful again