Vincent Topp

Never wished I had, what other people have, until now
Never took life for granted, always respected its mystery, until now
Never was a doer, I was more a thinker
But I can stay here forever trapped by my thoughts
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My entire life has been a lie
Me, the real me
Has been the skater on the fractured ice
Escaped prisoner of my own Alcatraz
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Every little red riding hood
Walks into the forest unprepared
Who would expect the wolf
When your heart is the unstained innocence.
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This world is my playground, mine
I lockdown the borders, I push the island away from the mainland
Detached myself through choice from this fiction called life
The only realities I acknowledge now are at the end of my own fantasies
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Sneezing out solutions
Coughing up emotions
Stirring black coffee soberness
Reality pinching me.
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The flames are laughing, arguing, seductive
The words are whispered, shouted and mimed
Adventure without the risks attached
‘How was your day? ’
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So I wait for the calm to rise
As I sink into my author's throne
My eyes welded shut
My breathing clicking to attention at silences glare.
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I’m the writer of my own life story,
But making up the plot as I go along.
I’m the only actor in my own life story,
No scripted lines, I’ll improvise.
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The mountains scratch the sky
Birds of prey shield the sun from unprotected eyes
Nature is secure
Nature is the ruler.
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There’s a wind that’s blowing in my face,
As everybody else walk’s with ease,
It’s trying to knock me sideways,
It’s trying to bring me down to my knees;
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Silence is deafening, ,
When it’s all that’s left to take in
I know this to be true.
Insanity and paranoia breed,
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I watch my own face dissolve into others
Past generations the dna string is unravelled
Previous lives I have lived too, it’s there staring back in their eyes
I implore the memories and feelings to come through me
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On his birthday he rose an hour earlier than normal,
He wanted to beat the early morning rush hour traffic.
To a place where he spent a lot of his childhood,
Good thoughts, good fun, good feelings,
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I’m the no 1 sniper
You never know I was there
Out of sight, menacing
I waited till I had my breathing like yours
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Are we meant to live in an age of information
A world where there is no degrees of separation
So why is there no clearer truths and realisations
The illuminated age has never seemed so in the dark.
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The sweetest taste, is bitter now
My purest thoughts are poisoned through.
The ghost of fate, keeps mocking me
Every scar I’ve earnt, every drink I’ve drowned.
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I am the shadow
I have outstayed this derelict shell of a supposed human being
I followed, mimicked his slow reactions
I will not be the understudy of a no-one
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Just met today
Small talk, the odd probe
Settled on mutual interests
Eyeing up all of the time.
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Grown up in the business,
Like their father and his father before.
One was a natural, but the other bled sweat.
They longed to shake off the halo,
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When I wake up I ask myself one question,
Who do I want to be today?
Who do I need to be today?
Do I wear my extrovert face,
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