The heart is a muscle,
I choose to believe
It can be trained.
Not to strain,
...
If it's words you want,
I would find the most beautiful ones,
Shower them in chamomile,
Scent them with lilacs,
...
I wouldn't know how a single puff feels,
When he draws it from his lips.
Half the time,
I envy the damn cigarette.
...
A rope in hand he made his way,
To the midst of the forest around his thoughts,
A step and a stop as he unfolded inside;
Crumbling with the lies he told his mind.
...
It's in the way I smile,
Pretty enough but not quite right.
The way I dress,
Cute enough just not quite right.
...
So you think you know insecurity?
You think you can properly define this ten letter word?
Better yet, you think you are the walking visual of this word.
I can one up you; I have inhaled, compelled and lived insecurity from my conception.
...
I scanned the world,
By standing still.
Let things happen,
By their will!
...
My mind is blank.
So blank, the silence must be an underlying sea of words.
A sea so content and fragile, it must be havoc.
Havoc raised in my thoughts, millennia ago.
...
He makes her smile,
Better than you ever could.
He holds her hand,
Tighter than you ever did.
...
Tonight I dine in hell,
With rose colored mirrors,
In my blood stained dress.
I lost myself in your
...
I'm drowning in air,
Sinking in skies,
Dying beneath words
of love they try to give.
...
You kiss me every time
You say goodbye in my mind.
It's in my smile and the
Hope in your eyes.
...
To Fix Myself
The heart is a muscle,
I choose to believe
It can be trained.
Not to strain,
Not to twist,
Not to split.
I want to think,
My heart can feel
Within its limits
Safely,
From a distance,
In its cage.
Unlike other muscles,
It is weak,
It needs more of everything.
More care,
Nurture...
More feelings.
But I refuse to give
Into its demands.
For it only returns
Beaten and bruised.
This time I cannot
Afford to repair the damage
It wants to cause.
So again,
From afar,
I'll train this muscle
To forget the ache
It felt,
From knowing you.