Young Man! Will You Please Get Out Of That Bathroom? Poem by bob eichen

(KNOCK, KNOCK)
I'm in here!

I KNOW! YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR HALF AN HOUR. OTHERS DO HAVE TO GO TOO.
I'll be right out.

LOOK, IF YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE, TAKE ONE OF YOUR MOTHER'S STOOL SOFTENERS. I DON'T WANT YOU TO END UP WITH PILES LIKE MINE.
It isn't that.

WAIT A MINUTE! ARE YOU DOING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE DOING?
No!

I SAW YOU TAKE A MAGAZINE IN THERE. ARE YOU READING POETRY? I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO THROW THOSE MAGAZINES OUT AFTER I FOUND THEM UNDER YOUR BED!
I did, but there's nothing wrong with poetry.

NOTHING WRONG! NOTHING WRONG! POETRY LEADS TO ANARCHY!
No it doesn't! There's more to life than weightlifting, clay pidgeon shooting, Tai Kwon Do, compound bows and watching prowrestling while drinking highballs with Old Grandad.

YOU JUST LEAVE YOUR GRANDFATHER OUT OF THIS!
He likes my poetry! He said someday I'll make a million dollars selling my poems.

UH? A MILLION DOLLARS YOU SAY? WELL, I UH? I WOULDN'T WANT TO STIFLE YOUR CREATIVITY!
Do you mean it?

SURE SON. HECK, I GUESS EVERY FAMILY NEEDS AT LEAST ONE POET!