You Don'T Poem by Cristina Ventura

I don’t think I can tell you that I love you,
Although I am fairly certain I do
I don’t know why but I don’t want to stop,
Because if I did
I would feel as if I let go of an intricately woven dream, a sparkling goal.
But you just sit there in the mud
It doesn’t matter how hard I tug at your arms
Words I say are not enough
Feet still sunken in –almost 5 feet deep
Thick stuff it holds the essence of yuck

You will never stop loving her
You replay memories like a movie reel
And oh so real do they become
Until they crack through the ground like geminating seeds
Little sprouts of pain
Weed killer
All I am an insufficient herbicide

Knives, darts, pins, all sharp things
You have no idea
How much they prick me
The lethal aerosols that get trapped within me
I swallow toxicity
You don’t love me like I love you