Why You Can Never Trust A Trend Poem by Patti Masterman

A slight difference caused
Oxygen levels to fall,
And then the dinosaurs
Could not get through the door.

An unexpected comet
Killed the great apes on the floor,
And the weasel was supreme
For millenia- just four.

And the floods never came
And the cockroaches grew large,
And they ruled the earth with fierceness,
But were eaten by the crows.

And the birds all learned to speak,
And were quite polite and kind;
And they bowed to one another
As the oceans became dried.

Then the sun blew up in size
And the birds all lost their feathers,
And they flew in giant flocks
To complain about the weather.

It was getting very warm,
There was nowhere else to go,
So one bird invented spaceflight-
After metal and day-glow.

There were day-glow birds in space
In their metal rocket-cans,
They still spoke the same language,
There was still no sign of man

And they landed on the moon,
And they pledged their lives together,
And they didn't leave a flag-
No, they left a peacock feather.

And then other birds in space
From some other planets, far
Saw the feather from the peacock,
And proclaimed him as their god.

They were searching every world
For the peacock bird of fable,
And ignored the Ivory Bills
That were listed in the table.

Now their brains had grown quite large,
They had nuclear powered cars,
And cremated all their dead,
Placed within canopic jars.

Then one day a marmoset
Was irradiated by a jet-
And it's brain began to grow,
In the junkyard of day-glow.

And it spawned a race of apes
Who began to turn quite human;
Then their babes were taking over
As the race of man was boomin’-

This is where the story stops;
We already know the end,
And this all just goes to show
You can not predict a trend.