Water Thoughts Poem by Sandra Martyres

Water Thoughts

Rating: 5.0


Huge waves approach us
Menacingly from the seas
Like a tsunami

Monsoons lash the door
Creating panic inside
Will the rain enter

The seas beckon him
Miles of clear deep blue waters
But he cannot swim

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Lynda Robson 16 July 2009

A very clear concise poem, full of fear for the non-swimmer, great work Sandra, 10 Lynda xx

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Maitreyee Joshi 16 July 2009

actually water can cause fear, whether we can swim or not.it can get realy fierce and so your poem is a very good depiction of that fierceness.

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Meggie Gultiano 16 July 2009

I am a swimmer and i love the sea, the water.Our ancestral home is near the sea. Better for the one who's afraid is to know how to swim and be acquainted..LOL. Lovely words..I love this

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Carl Harris 16 July 2009

This is a delightful and well exressed senryu triplet, Sandra. In the third poem, the middle line has only six syllables-easily remedied by adding the word 'deep' like this: 'miles of clear deep blue waters.' Not only that, but the word deep gives that final line a bit more of an impact as well. Carl.

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all three on water...nicely done sandra...i too am not a swimmer...the last very apt for me

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Sathyanarayana M V S 29 July 2009

Very good haikus in traditional format. Very meaningful and deep.

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Sarwar Chowdhury 24 July 2009

A fine poem indeed............10+

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Indira Renganathan 22 July 2009

When huge waves like tsunami approach monsoons lash the heart creating panic...how then he dares to swim...beware of another tsunami..this piece is ambiguous and applicable to experiences in human life otherwise too...great thought..great wording..'water thoughts' is very different

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Sandra, You gripped me with your water words. I feel water has a pull and a push of immense intensity. I like how you have made these into a triplet. The have been so skilfully written! 10 Karin Anderson

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Sonya Florentino 21 July 2009

each one is good and put together creates a story....

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