Wasted Days... Poem by Catherine Hendry

Days wasted thoughts forgotten memories shattered truths turned into Lies You burdened others getting sympathy with your tears … for your Problems YOU made your choices less right than wrong continuously Blaming others … You feel like you don’t belong … Your Addiction “isn’t your fault”, Your kids were “accidents”, Not MISTAKES, because God IS perfect after all Your children were blessed And born without sin yet, jealousy oozes from your heart for what They get how people coo over them, amazed by their innocent smiles, Affection and attention for them … you feel angst, even a bit of Animosity because YOU want what THEY GET, how dare you? HOW DARE YOU? ! God GIFTED YOU … entrusted you with not 1 but 2 amazing angels They’re not even in your “TOP TEN” the list of what is important in YOUR life … A # 1 is DOPE! ! ! ! No matter what kind, regardless of how You get it or take it … NOTHING IN LIFE, should matter NOTHING IS GREATER THAN, 'I LOVE YOU MOMMY' Instead we have to bear the Questions like, 'WHERE’S MOMMY? ' 'IS MOMMY COMING HOME TONIGHT? ' 'CAN I STAY UP TILL MOMMY COMES HOME? ! ' 'No, my love, Mommy isn’t coming Home tonight' 'No, sweetie you can’t stay up, you need your rest for School' SCHOOL? ! ? ! You can’t even pick up your own kids BECAUSE OF YOUR ADDICTION! ! The school doesn’t know you, They don’t know YOU ARE “MOMMY” WAIT! ! STOP! ! Please, save those dry tears! fake and Emotionless They don’t work anymore! 1 wish … Just ONE wish … ALLOW These 2 babies to grow up KNOWING love, security and happiness Things YOU deny them daily, because YOU fight harder to get high, than you Do to see smiles on their cherub-like faces SAD! So sad it is! I want To cry myself … But SOMONE has to stay strong for THEM and YOU are NOT that person the pain you FORCE upon your kids it disgusts me, Saddens me and scares me NO ONE, not even you, knows how far you will Go what, if any, is the point when YOU finally say … THAT’S IT! DEATH TO MY ADDICTION —- NOT TO MYSELF! I REBUKE THE DEVIL’S EVILNESS OF DRUGS I CHOOSE NOW TO DROP THE DOPE I CHOOSE NOW TO PICK UP MY DIGNITY I CHOOSE NOW, MY LIFE I CHOOSE NOW, MY CHILDREN!