Best Friends... With Myself? Poem by Catherine Hendry

What is it?
How can I help?
I fight losing interest in caring,
I ask questions I already know the answer to …
How long do YOU think I should wait …?
For you to be honest … not with me,
more importantly, with yourself …
SEE,
I LOVE YOU …
Afraid I love YOU more than you do…
Your mouth asks advice,
Your heart craves love,
Your mind seeks stability,
but your actions show a lack of interest in ANY of the above …
YOU have to love YOU …
Before you can love or anyone else can love you …
On the regular you deny it all
The secrets … the reality … the twists and turns
The fact is YOU harbor this shame …
Dishonesty is its name …
But ONLY YOU have to deal with it
I love you and I’m always the same …
I’ve never left, anytime you’ve called, I ALWAYS came …
You push so hard, shoving me away …
It feels like you could care less if I stay …
You place blame upon me like 10,000 pounds
I’m tired and you don’t care or notice …
Accusing ME of being underhanded, us going rounds
I see your secrets …
I fight your lies …
I reach for you on a daily …
Yet sadly, you withdraw, hiding within a disguise …
Taking with you MY heart and love …
I just want my friend back …
But I feel like my knowledge of her is at best … slack …
In an attempt to “keep your cover”,
You say I love you less, with no respect
or, I love 1 more or better than the other …
You KNOW that isn’t true …
Is there a difference between another and you?
YES … as there should be!
Separate friends, different loves …
Though the other’s never lied to me …
So, your description is crooked, one sided at best …
SO … WHY AM I WRITING …
If YOU don’t give a damn about any of the rest?

(Do me a favor … close your eyes, take a deep breath … envision you and your best friend … ASK:
Has that friend ever left you out in the cold? Has that friend EVER let go?
I question, who has lied to whom and WHY? It wasn’t me …
Regardless, WHO’S always there when times are craziest, low or high?
… my point exactly …
So next time you call, don’t be shocked, if you don’t hear HI …
YES, I DO love you, and with everything in me …
You are my best friend …
But I can’t allow you to destroy yourself, our friendship AND me!