Was It Ever Real? Poem by Anna Ong

My eyes unconsciously flickers once again
And I stare at the ominously unlit screen
No words can express my hurt, my pain
And my shattered little world crumbles unseen

My insecurity is a terrible hindrance
As my sanity daily I question
A multitude of emotions ravage my mind and soul
They hold sway to that which my heart dearly holds

I wonder why my heart perceives
So differently from that which my mind sees
I wonder why what you've told me
Falls so far from that which you've shown me

Can two shades so different from each other
Inhabit the same infinite realm?
Can two souls so intertwined together
Be torn asunder in a moment's anguish at another?

My afflicted mind demands a reason, any reason
Why when all I ever wanted to do
Was to wrap my arms around you
And tell you that everything's going to be alright

Why my only reward was a repulsed jerk, a hateful glare
A painful slap, filling me with such unbearable despair
I once promised I'll never walk away from you
Why oh why did you force me to

My breath shallows and slowly I give in to despondency
I swear I won't let this build up inside of me
Perhaps it's time I slipped silently away
You were everything I needed but was it ever real?