Try Harder Poem by Siya The poet

These are merely the things I feel
I can't make these feeling become real
For I know, no one will ever believe me
And I try, to become the one
Who's doesn't open up
To the outside world
When it gets too much to take
When my sanity is at stake
When my heart's about to break
That's when I cry...

These are merely the thoughts I think
And they disappear away in a blink
I am left confused, not knowing what to do
I'm not a better judge than you
I know I make mistakes
The painful guilt within me reminds me all the time
Is forgiveness too much to ask for?
Isn't love too much to strive for?
Isn't it peace what we all are looking for?
When my conscience crumbles
When, on paths, I stumble
When I can't take take it anymore
That's when I speak...

These are merely my actions
It's hard to believe
That I do go wrong so many times
Although, I try to be on the right side
Things tend to take unexpected turns
On the pathway of life
No matter how fast I run behind them
I can never catch them
And set them right
The people I love, tell me
About my wrongdoings over and over again
I try not to talk back
But they persist
And I shout, I scream
For them to leave me alone
It's in this state of mind
I don't know what I'm doing
And commit yet, another mistake
When my crying ceases
When speech doesn't help
When I feel facing the whole world on my own
That's when I tell myself to try harder

For that ray of hope
That shines through the darkest clouds
For the gift of life
That sprouts and crushes the stones
For the beauty of nature
That fills my heart with peace
For myself,
Because maybe I deserve it
A second chance...

I tell myself to try harder...