Too Many Friends? Poem by John Carter Brown

I struggle these days with my contacts
My brain seems to go on a tilt;
I've friendships coming out of my earholes
My address book is full to the hilt.

And it's not that I'm feeling unsocial
Believe me, I used to be chuffed;
But I'm now at the stage where I'm worried
In case I'm ignored or rebuffed.

It used to be so very simple
Your colleagues at work, and your kin;
Your mates in the pub - a few others
But things are now up in a spin.

My time, surreptitiously stolen,
By Myspace, Facebook and Twitter;
By phoning and mailing and texting
And I'm now sick to death of E-litter.

There ain't enough room in my folders
My memory stick is now full;
It's time for a new bigger hard-drive
Or I'll soon be in need of a cull.

But how many friends can I handle?
(I often forget my own name!)
I care not for chance reputation
I have no desire for E-fame.

So I think I'll go back to beginnings
Leaving all my E-friends to their fates;
I've shut down the blasted computer
And I'm off to the pub with my mates.