The Truth Poem by Andrew Leone

How far can it take to save a man from his inner monsters? what will it take? as children we had our parents look under the beds for monsters and boogeymen but we stopped when we realized that the monsters were inside us. from anger, hate, passion, sympathy to lust and love emotions can make or break a person. I've been asked how could a person live with such emotional and mental trauma and still be mentally sane but that's the trick, I'm not mentally well. people like me who have seen firsthand the darkness of people's hearts, the true horror of human nature, you can't be mentally stable. it's not normal for a single person to see so much death that he or she becomes desensitized by it. to see someone get their head blown off and just shrug your shoulders like nothing major happened. to witness probably one of the most important people in your life be raped and beaten to death and you just sat there helpless. we grow with trust problems, anger issues, personality disorders, ptsd, night terrors, inability to cope, or even being severely co-dependent. in our hour of darkness, we try to cling on to anything that gives us a shred of hope, a inkling of happiness no matter how poisonous it is but yet it dulls the pain. the voice in the back of our head repeats how stupid it is and you know you're just get hurt in the end but we do it anything because for that brief second or two, we feel alive and loved. to have someone build you up is possibly one of the greatest feelings ever. to be what we once were, whole. no pain, no misery, just warmth. and in the blink of an eye the worst happens. they break you down in such a way, you're in shock and you break. they remind you of your past regrets and failures and now you're even more torn apart then you were before. you start to feel numb and cold, like someone just stabbed you in the chest and left you to bleed on your own. it gets worse, the next day you walk past them and you feel like a ghost because they won't even look at you like you never existed. makes you feel abandoned and you keep asking yourself 'why' and knowing you'll never know 'why'. love is a sick emotion that we as people should never have to experience. it gets to the point you don't want to be saved. you don't to get better. you just want to sit in a hole and cry.