The Silence Poem by Samir Actuated

Now things are clear
The deepest silence
My mind was away
I had to say those things
I didn't care
The self hate was all out
A wincing agony to those who heard or saw me
But it was not my fault only
Nobody could be there for me
Because I drank my college degree
There was no echo
After all the thunder here I am
Still won't understand why it had to happen
All my tears in the rain
In the pillow
Was it the money really?
Questions a mortal man can't answer
Maybe only I
But that demands a look into that past
That then just walked right in front of me without a haste
Truth told I was helpless
Its a broken heart in a broken world