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Poetheart Morgan

Rookie - 303 Points (05/23/1960 / Rio de Janeiro)

The Bluebird Mountain!


when the man's hope comes to us
all the rays of the life
lies by your side
to give you strength and warmth

spirits of the blue mountain
appear, when the winter goes
finally
to give you a name

Bluebird

a prophecy to mark and test him
your long way

he flies, walks and runs
at once, to fulfill your duty
become into a swirl of move
a bird, a magician, a man

we are apart of his history
because is a legend
of a man
and now a bluebird
in a blue mountain

Submitted: Saturday, July 27, 2013
Edited: Monday, July 29, 2013

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  • Veteran Poet - 3,842 Points Bri Edwards (4/4/2014 5:58:00 PM)

    ok, i've just read it again. i believe most of my lack of enthusiasm about this poem is coming from Poetheart's understandable lack of total mastery of English. of course i, too, have not mastered English, and i've been speaking it for over 60 years. my wife says i speak it too much! (what does SHE know?) ha ha.
    i could make a bunch of suggestions re the English usage [well, maybe not a 'bunch'], but i will make only one or two here. time marches on!

    to give you a name... i don't know who/what you refers to. i thought it might refer to spirits. if it does, then i suggest writing to give you names, to give you all names, or? well, i guess spirits could have a collective name like a collection of trees can be called forest or wood(s) . hmmm? looking back right now at the poem, i think you really want to write spirit instead of spirits. if you do, then you can ignore what i said earlier (some of it anyway) .

    become into a swirl of move....the way i want to read this is become a swirl of movement.

    thanks for sharing. bri :) (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,842 Points Bri Edwards (3/30/2014 8:43:00 PM)

    p.m. now this one i'll have to spend little time on or read and comment on at a later date. it does not entertain ME nearly as much as others of yours i have read. BUT the other comments seem to disagree with me.
    thanks for sharing, young lady. bri :) (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,219 Points Ken E Hall (9/27/2013 5:19:00 AM)

    lovely poem written in your own inimitable original style grand title too...regards (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,460 Points Ramesh Rai (8/1/2013 8:25:00 AM)

    spirits of the blue mountain
    appear, when the winter goes
    finally
    to give you a name
    beautiful words of poem.
    beautiful write (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,585 Points Sallam Yassin (7/27/2013 3:25:00 PM)

    And finally he came to home
    to her heart- the mountain
    the mountain who her
    and her bluebird who came a long way
    to his love so sweet (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,585 Points Sallam Yassin (7/27/2013 3:25:00 PM)

    And finally he came to home
    to her heart- the mountain
    the mountain who her
    and her bluebird who came a long way
    to his love so sweet (Report) Reply

Read all 12 comments »

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