Shopping For A Woman Poem by Randy McClave

I was told not to ever go to bars or clubs
If I ever wanted to meet women,
Or neither should I ever go to restaurants or pubs
To find me that one very special hen.
They say that statistics always tells,
At those functions it's always 1 woman for every 20 males.

I was told to instead find a woman at hobby lobby
Where the female to male ratio there is 10 to 1,
So, I went there today acting a little snobby
There were so many princesses and I am a lonely pawn.
So, I pranced down each and every isle,
Proudly showing off artistically and my style.

I then watched the women just buying stupid stuff
Or buying stuff for a project that they'll never start,
I looked all around and then I finally saw enough
And I left quickly, with an unbroken heart.
These facts and words to all my brothers I hope they heed,
Women there are already looking for stuff that they don't need.

So, I decided to go to where a woman I could impress
As I again played another game of chess,
I decided to go where I felt and I was treated like a king
And where I could happily buy a woman anything.
I decided to find a woman where I could bring her glee,
So, I grabbed me 20 dollars and I headed to the Dollar Tree.

Randy L. McClave