The bananas in the bazar had too much rate
No said the shopkeeper
When i requested him to abate
Then i asked the price of date
Suddenly i remembered
I have left the open gate
With this i ran hurriedly
So that i may not get late
While running, I met on the way
With my class mate
She had in her hand
A tasty chocolate cake
My mouth filled with water
Like a lake
Before i would reach home i saw mom
With an anger
That was really great
I swiftly ran into the house
And closed the gate
After some time mother came
Started the door shake
I sighed and moved with fright
Towards the door,
Thinking that it was my mistake
The condition was opposite
Mother was having a beautiful smile
On her face
I requested mum I am sorry
Please forgive me this time
For God's sake
She smiled and said politely
Its Ok sweety look i have something
That you would love to take
There were bananas
Also a tasty chocolate cake
I kissed her
Staring at juncate
There is no doubt to say
Mothers are damn great
Because in every field of life, they aid
I am reminded of a great poem Toys, in which a father is annoyed by his motherless son. He tells him some harsh words. The child goes to his bed room. After passage of some time the father thought of his son and went to his bed room. He found the child sleeping among a few toys. The father kissed his son and forgave him. The poet thinks he too remained busy in playing with toys in this world and hoped God will forgive him for his playing with the toys. Parents are the virtual image of God and they always forgive their children and bring joys of lovely gifts. An innocent and beautiful poem by you.
The theme of the poem is good. Structural quality and choice of diction will have to be improved. A good attempt on throwing light on Mother`s invincible love.
Real LOve............ A mother with her three hungry child found three apples. mother gave it to each of them saying she is not hungry.. Mother is a wonderful gift of God
Hira, i have copied a bunch of information about the word abate. i would not use abate the way you did, but, after reading the information below, i guess it is ok. i love the rhyming in this poem! a·bate ?'bat verb verb: abate; 3rd person present: abates; past tense: abated; past participle: abated; gerund or present participle: abating 1. (of something perceived as hostile, threatening, or negative) become less intense or widespread. the storm suddenly abated synonyms: subside, die down/away/out, lessen, ease (off) , let up, decrease, diminish, moderate, decline, fade, dwindle, recede, tail off, peter out, taper off, wane, ebb, weaken, come to an end; More archaicremit the storm had abated antonyms: intensify cause to become smaller or less intense. nothing abated his crusading zeal Law lessen, reduce, or remove (esp. a nuisance) . this action would not have been sufficient to abate the odor nuisance synonyms: decrease, lessen, diminish, reduce, moderate, ease, soothe, dampen, calm, tone down, allay, temper More nothing abated his crusading zeal antonyms: increase Origin More Middle English (in the legal sense ‘put a stop to (a nuisance) ’) : from Old French abatre ‘to fell, ’ from a- (from Latin ad ‘to, at’) + batre ‘to beat’ (from Latin battere, battuere ‘to beat’) . Translate abate to Use over time for: abate With my class mate............i am used to seeing the word classmate, but class mate, i think, is good in this sentence. and i am now reminded that poets are allowed to use poetic license, meaning they can wander from the truth or the norm at times to achieve the results they desire with their poems. I seighed and moved with fright Towards the door, hira, check the spelling in the first line here. did you mean seigh [which i never heard of but looked up and found it to be a (obsolete i believe) word meaning saw, as in the child seigh the ball flying toward him]? OR did you mean sigh? i think either towards or toward is ok in the second line. there are some small things i would write differently but if you wrote them the way i do, probably a lot of your readers would think you weren't you, but ME! so keep those things the way they are. heck, you can keep everything the way it is now and it will be a good poem. certainly it conveys the love you and your mother had/have for one another. yummy! cake [chocolate too! ] and bananas and juncate [i had to look up juncate]! ! ! this is close to being my favorite of the poems i have read that you have submitted. i'll put it in MyPoemList. thanks for sharing. bri
It is wonderful. great and lovely expressing your deep love for mother and no doubt givivg voice to everyone's emotions...nice, keep it up!
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Very beautiful poem, Hira! ! ! just take care of her! ! !