Sediment Poem by Quin Faas

Adjusted to named
enlisted
forced to play

i guess it was a game
psychological of sorts
character assassination
word associations with
behavior humiliation
outlandish tales
spoken
repeated
for pattern
only stupids would question this girl’s
tales-
who's out of mind?
who am i?
tell me county 'King'
And laugh girl does not
when thoughts trail
back
to how ‘easy’ you all were to burn...
girls'
uneducated
and stoopid
no puter skills
and knows no fractions
can't read maps
and appears 'lost'
asks too many questions
lost she is
where am I,
girl says
where?
where?
'ohhh'
Yes, it all hurt
yes i was humiliated
yes, i feel you feel i am less
yes i am
Yes!
with appreciation
and dedication
to the 'power', multiple forces not less
created my corrupt
soured my veins
buried my son
and
even captured
me a love
not from blood
not even meant
mistaken
never will forget
that night
walking into
sad city's
haunted district
his face
so delicate
eyes intense
his belly rounded just right
my body shuttered
this man screams sexy
wanted to run back to car
wanted to run center
i knew it was
wanted it to not be
even though
it was
obvious
girls mind said
do not play
this a game
it will hurt
do not touch
he's intentional,
a prop
he will
you will
together
it
can curse
But…girl thought. It's to be just one night
i got this mastered
-
a mindful play-right back
because damn this man was good
better than the others...
chess i know
but this was something
more
that mattered for him
for us both
his pride, my life...
never do i regret
this something
kept
drawing me
back
and
back
is this part of the ‘power’
with no board
or clues
one might torture this thought to death
or just recall
the feeling
without
the rest-
JUST Color
because instantly
after his touch
all the wrongs suddenly were righted
i knew him
deep
deep
deep
always
i stared at his face
never looked away
he would
glance
disapproved
verbal anger
Not abuse…
And depth he would not budge
words or answers
I knew, he would not give
so questions i did not ask
but
lies we both told
it became heightened high
sadness i felt
forced to 'say'
forced to game
am i crazy
am i
am i
was my 'crazy' a creation
does it matter?
for me
it did.

no more
no longer
for i am a Trailer Park Maid