Secret Songs Poem by Alex Cairnie

Memories keep me awake
Days long gone, I shan't forsake
I found solitude inside my head,
Sang secret songs, to cheer the dead.

We were the very last of our platoon
That had somehow stayed alive passed noon
I thought of home, but for a fleeting glance
And visions, that my wanting did enhance

In the chaos I found calm, almost
And to those whose spirits passed,
I hold a toast
For they went without a grumble or complain
They fell like Giants, in that cold October rain

While shells came down like hailstones
Bone and bunker stood no chance
We had no choice, but our ground to stand and here, we made our final stance

In bold defiance, inside my head played secret songs
That drowned out all the guns and bombs
And silenced those limbless bludgeoned souls
As privates to the rear dug another hundred holes

There tunics ripped and torn and all now stained blood red
Each man I knew in person, now here each one lay dead
But no emotion could I feel, my heart had grown cold
As we stacked them in a corner, face down as were told

A brilliant flash baptised my eyes, and at once I was blind
While drums and bells rained thunder, on my ears and in my mind
I stood still, frozen to the spot
It felt like days not hours, but the sunrise told me not

As minutes passed I steadied up, my vision slowly cleared
And I realised that of us all, only I was spared
As the rising smoke revealed the truth, the scene it was unveiled
And every single man and boy, were somehow left impaled

Shrapnel wire, and rifles too
Had been blown everywhere
Some had pieces sticking out
And some had passed straight through

And there they lay, the aftermath
Their body's blown apart
Like a painting by Picasso
A bloody butchers art

And even though this scene of hell
Was burned upon my soul
I found a place where secret songs
Played loud and made me whole

For I was just a number
And my name was just a rank
And those now gone were all forgot
Into the ground they sank

When memories do haunt me
When peace is all I crave
I heal myself with music
Those secret songs I save.

AC