William Chaplar (August 18,1961 / Trenton, New Jersey)

Your portly sister asks you if her dress makes her look fat.
I'm sorry, but there's just one way for you to answer that.
"Yes! " must be your abrupt reply, though it might cause dismay.
'Cause if you don't say what you mean, you can't mean what you say.

Your friend—who can't boil water—wants to cook Thanksgiving meal.
Your fear that she will ruin it is quite hard to conceal.
"No! " must be your emphatic response to her, come what may.
'Cause if you don't say what you mean, you can't mean what you say.

A blind date goes awry, and you're just thrilled for it to end.
But next day he informs you that he'd like to try again!
To put a stop to this, you know just what you must convey.
And if you don't say what you mean, you won't mean what you say.

You stub your toe while playing with your seven-year-old son.
And non-profane responses, you cannot remember one!
You scream an epithet and hope the child's not led astray.
‘Cause sometimes saying what you mean's just not the thing to say.