Repeating Rheteric Poem by Andrus Cassian

Once again, another once upon a time dream
turned into a sleepless night
not from frights or emptiness
Just trying, well rather to keep my head on straight
confessing all my feelings
my hates, my loves, my wishes
to a friend with open ears
I wish this wasn't a night I was awake for
my thoughts are my time machine which is racing to my past
where everything was clearer and much more simple
but my actions and thoughts were deemed imperfect
Could it be, could it be
What has knowledge served me
All I've heard were repeating rheterics
but why should they all persuade me
All I have is my plastic bag of failure filled to the rim
I'm wondering would it all fit over my head
or keep me pushing down, pushing me down
All my life, I've claimed to want the sweetness of a celebrity highlife
but dump the fame
All I want is for the world to know me
I've lived a repeated life and whose soul do I bear
because I know a third of it is not my own
I've wanted to live a life all my own
Me and rules just don't get along
I'm stuck and struck by age and a dreaded place
which still burns my eyes
I guess I'm halfway in the right direction...