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(27 July 1870 – 16 July 1953 / La Celle-Saint-Cloud)

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Rebecca

Who Slammed Doors For Fun And Perished Miserably

A trick that everyone abhors
In little girls is slamming doors.
A wealthy banker's little daughter
Who lived in Palace Green, Bayswater
(By name Rebecca Offendort),
Was given to this furious sport.

She would deliberately go
And slam the door like billy-o!
To make her uncle Jacob start.
She was not really bad at heart,
But only rather rude and wild;
She was an aggravating child...

It happened that a marble bust
Of Abraham was standing just
Above the door this little lamb
Had carefully prepared to slam,
And down it came! It knocked her flat!
It laid her out! She looked like that.

Her funeral sermon (which was long
And followed by a sacred song)
Mentioned her virtues, it is true,
But dwelt upon her vices too,
And showed the deadful end of one
Who goes and slams the door for fun.

The children who were brought to hear
The awful tale from far and near
Were much impressed, and inly swore
They never more would slam the door,
-- As often they had done before.

Submitted: Tuesday, December 31, 2002


Read poems about / on: fun, funeral, daughter, children, child, song, green, girl

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Comments about this poem (A Trinity by Hilaire Belloc )

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  • Joshua Zwane (5/19/2012 9:09:00 PM)

    lovely write-a fun read

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Sujit Sinha (7/6/2010 12:35:00 PM)

    Amusing poem.

    However I cant help thinking
    How terribly wrong it was
    To place Abraham's bust on that wall

  • Terence George Craddock (5/19/2010 10:57:00 AM)

    A very entertaining and humorous poem yet the lines
    ‘And down it came! It knocked her flat!
    It laid her out! She looked like that.’
    end weakly with the ambiguous ‘She looked like that.’ The poem would attain a more thrilling climax if continuity was maintained and the last line of this important stanza finished ‘It laid her out! Dead just like that! ’
    The contrast with the next stanza beginning ‘Her funeral sermon (which was long’ is then more fitting in relationship to the grim humour of her ‘deadful end’.

  • Juan Olivarez (5/19/2010 10:32:00 AM)

    Truly outstanding poem. It hits on all cylinders. The words flow like a gently flowing river and no one needs to guess at the meaning. No need to ponder and guess at meanings, it is all laid out for you, and besides it has a moral.Asolutely enchanting.

  • Adnan Khalifeh (5/19/2010 7:03:00 AM)

    Thanks God this poet died before making world more complicated.

  • Ramesh T A (5/19/2010 2:25:00 AM)

    When fun becomes serious it is death sure! Very good poem!

  • Is It Poetry (5/19/2009 12:56:00 PM)

    The doors i get slammed on me, have diffrent kinds of busts, the sport some get from this just leaves me miserable..i confess..iip..this fine gentleman understood the flux all to well..

  • Ravi A (5/19/2009 8:41:00 AM)

    Only from this poem I came to know that one of the hobbies of our children of yesteryears was slamming the doors! What a sad end for Rebecca!

  • Kevin Straw (5/19/2009 6:34:00 AM)

    Does anyone know what 'She looked like that' means. I like the way he partly lets off the children who slam doors with the last line.

  • Joseph Poewhit (5/19/2009 6:24:00 AM)

    A child's folly and fun. Sort of like kids pulling the legs off bugs, to watch them stumble around and giggle to each other. Though the Lord says, vengence is mine, I will recompense. [ Guess GOD made good ].

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