Real Event, Relevant, Press Reverence, Or Something Like, That Poem by James Darwin Smith II

In this world
Things are so different
Misplaced everything feels
As anxiety welcomes me
With great hostility
Yet, here I am calm
Somehow
Trying to lift my own spirit
Searching high and low
For a purpose
Relevance in this being
Of perpetual abundance
Some kind of reassurance
Being relevant towards self
Traveling to uncharted places
One way or another
Even if I have to
Lose myself at times
As the world
Keeps on spinning


So much chaos
Too many loud voices
Yelling, screaming
Do they even stop to think?
Do they even know the harm they are doing?


Walking at a fast pace
Trying to find peace
Nothing but myself
Though lonely
At least there is no hate
No negativity
Far away dreaming
Dreams
Even if they never come true


Too tensed
Body trying to unlock itself
Into a comfortable state
A feeling of grace
Haven of a Utopian wealth
Full of priceless endeavors
Beyond all the madness




Been labeled
Like an unsold product
That once lost its way
Been called many things
Looked down upon
In utter disdain
Been called crazy
Disappeared from everything
Where do I go?
No one will ever know
Unless they ….


Like a fool
Trying to cut away
From
Everything….

But I fight
To stay relevant
In any sort of way
At the same time
Keeping to myself
Contradicting everything
Rehearsed within myself
But the more I practice
The more nervous I get
Thinking too much
Feeling so out of place


If you were to say go north
I would perhaps go south
Without realizing what I have done
Then go east to another realm
Losing my place in it all
As another opportunity is wasted
Because of feeling so out


What have I done in life?
If I was told I made someone smile
That would be somehow good enough
And it would give me reassurance that someone
Feels so much better about themselves
Than perhaps I did at that very moment
As I dig deep within
Trying to feel better
For those who need warmth


So in all of this
I keep fighting
To stay as happy as can be

The world is so sad
But I keep fighting
With the best
Of my own ability


There is not much to see
But at least feel
Each of these heart beats
They have to count for something…


No worries
All is good
Sacrament of desire
My own evolution
Sacrificing self
For a new beginning

Somehow these visions
Are the cleansing
That is much needed

Though the pain still exists
They crash and burn
In broken English
As I find my own language
Of self-worth achievement
I can see it so close
Yet, seeing truly believes
An imagination can only go so far
Thought mine has seen so many miles
Of emptiness
At the same time so much




Been too quiet
Never meant anyone any harm
I love so much
Too much
That it makes me feel awkward
No idea why
Just is
What it should not be
Even I ask myself
What does that even mean?


Just trying to be relevant
To myself
And the evolution
Of whom I want to be
Beyond these current limitations


I thrive to better myself
Someday or another

Just never let me fool you
In all of this
I am still lucky
To be where I am
Even if I should be
Further along the way


Reverence show me the way
Somehow, someday


Who am I to feel this way?