Rant #1 Poem by Nicola Thoner

Fragile doubt
Tired beauty
Delicate torture
This is what dreams are made of

Effort and guilt and panic and stress
And rage
With a voice in my ear whispering
'Don't romanticize reality
It'll only prove you wrong.'
And it has.

Witches spells are just ego boosts performed from spite and jealousy.
There is no magic in that.

Your confusion projects on me
Covering me in a dark grime
I never asked for that
Your failure to communicate clearly
Reflects the battle between real love and falsity in you
All I wanted
Was to have a conversation
Live lightly and without ego
But then to want is wrong in the first place
Your uncleanliness is symbolic of your inability to purify, wholly and with dedication. Instead you detox with candy and carbs
When you're lost in your selfishness
You're body doesn't know best
You'd think you'd have figured it out by now
From all the ails that prevent you sleeping
Your blatant intrusion of my life
Makes it obvious you'd rather be living mine
And your 'strong independence'
Is actually needy self centeredness.

And me?
Well.
Yes.
I can be overly emotional and moody
Revealing an unstable core
I am analytical, logical, fantastical, arrogant and profusely apologetic
Because I'm insecure.
My defensiveness takes the form of close mindedness
When I feel your being too close minded to understand me in turn
And my quick decisions come across as a lack of judgement, and ignorance
I can't look you in the eye when you yell at me
Because I'm hiding so many thoughts about your total denial of those faults.
The difference between us
Is that I don't think there's anything wrong with me.
In the end,
I can live with myself.
And I'm happy too.

If you keep insulting me because of some offense I did you in the past,
Then it's no wonder you're unhappy.
You can't get back at someone who takes inspiration from being your emotional pin cushion.
Or who is interested in seeing how long you can stand it
Before realising you're not perfect either.
I have no interest in emotional warfare unless my opponent is worthy.
Plus, revenge is a game for children.
Lucky I can play.