Addiction Poem by Nicola Thoner

Dead to me.

Like your words become.

Still reaching for your silence.





Look at me. Look.




Screaming through worldly barriers

with the mentality

'The wings of a butterfly

can cause a cyclone'

Hoping you'll hear me from the other side.

Wanting you to hear me.

And you've shut me off completely.

My ears ringing painfully with the echo of my own voice.

Drowning in sorrow and self-pity.

One phrase could have changed my life.

Now a self-patterned destruction

leaves me endlessly searching

in the distance.

The Holy Grail of Enlightment.

Peace, or love. Fulfill me.

Something like that.

Addict to the search,

it becomes

a bloodletting of the soul

to cleanse a wound that was never there.

Light becoming so pure

it burns me.

Rubbing myself raw

to erase what I have been.




I don't know what's sadder.

Desperately trying to fill a void

Or pretending it doesn't exist at all