Please Help Me Understand Poem by Ray Hansell

I haven't heard from you
Going on far too long
But I know that something
Inside you is going wrong

I know your mind is occupied
With what you're going through
I'm sure you're always thinking
Of all the things that you must do

I'm sure it must weigh heavy
On your mind each day
I'm sure thoughts of your illness
Are never far away

I know you made a choice
When it came to me
I know you have decided
It's me you no longer want to see

I have to accept that
But I'm not sure I understand
Am I completely excluded
In all your future plans

I'm trying to reconcile
Within my own mind
I'm trying to understand
But the answers I can't find

You said goodbye to us
That must be accepted
But I must honestly say
It was totally unexpected

You called me your lover
You called me your friend
So please explain to me
Why we have to end

I know you must think things out
That I can respect
But casting me aside
Fills me with regret

If I am your friend and lover
As you always told me
Then I need for you
To try to help me see

Why would you push aside
Someone who really cares
With what you are going through
Wouldn't you want your friends there

But if you want me to walk out
Of your life for ever more
That's all you have to say
I will even close the door

I hate it that I won't see you
For I still think the world of you
But anything that you desire
You know that's what I'll do

I feel in love with a lovely woman
I found my world when I found you
But now my world is crashing in
Because I'm losing you

I'll never stalk or bother you
You know that's not my style
But everytime I think of you
Please know, I'll always smile

You know I hope you win the fight
Against your foe called cancer
I'll pray for you every day
Hoping, your doctor's find the answer


5-15-09/RJH