Out Of The Darkness Of My Heart. Poem by chantel weston

he walked out
out of the darkness
to show me that he could handle
all the things that i needed him to be
he showed me that he wanted to help me
to help heal the hurt that was killing me
wanted to my make my heart beat
for something that would never hurt me.

he came out
the least expected to help
the least likely to willingly take the task
but is taking it lovingly
telling me
'give it all to me. every word that ever hurt you
every sound that ever scared you,
dont forget me. im here. tell me everything. let me,
help you. i cant take it, i can be your rock.'
he told me all these things
as i felt like i was falling apart.

and i was...
i am...
scared to give it all to him.
i dont want him to hurt like me.
i want to protect him....
from every thing that i have felt
every thing that i hear.
i would never want him to hurt like this...
but he wants to help me
he wants to be my rock
but i dont know if i can let him do that...
i dont know if i could let him have that kind of power over me.

there has to be something that i can do
to let him see that i am trying to trust him
that i am slowly letting him be my rock.
that i am slowly finding away to let him in
to tell him what hurts me and then show him
who i really am.

he walked out of the darkness
showing me his face
that he used to keep hiden
showing me his heart
showing me that he cared and that he wanted to help,
not wanting any more from me then what i wanted to give
not until he could see even just a hint of how badly i hurt
then he wanted all of it.
all my pain that was slowly killing me, braking me down,
in to nothing but a shell as i tried to protect every one else
from what i felt inside.
he told me to let it out of the dark and in to the light
let him face it so that i could be free.
he kept telling me that he can take it... he can handle it.
that he will be there and that all he needs is a little time
to prove to me that he can handle things
and take care of me.

he tells me that he sees something beautiful
when he looks at me both physicaly and spirtualy
even if my eyes are copy-cat bright eyes
no true shine just something i learn to put there to keep
people away from me.
he sees something in me that i miss every time i look.
he sees me try to help people no matter the kind of mess they are in
and he says that he sees why i do it.
he is trying to save me.
trying to save me from that thing
that walks out of the darkness of my heart to devoure me.

he walks out of the darkness
not to hurt me but to save me from my self.