O.P.S.M. Poem by hazel jackson

I fell adrift with multiple things on my mind tonight and you in the far back, I had no idea at first that you were a thought until I closed my eyes...and now I wish I had waited to drift off and see you even though some part of me new I was asleep but within the picture in my head reality was OBLIVIOUS.

I saw you...i heard you and I watched them hurt you..even after I told them not to they hurt you right in front of me...i saw them from my hiding place when they made way through out our safe haven with those who were once strangers, to me now my life long adopted family.

apart of me new they were here for me and  half just wanted everyone to be ok...and the other half just wanted to know
WHY..! ! I said this so many times already. the sting in my eyes spread to my face riding down my checks like fatal poison seping from within...
I can't recover from the movie within my mind within my thoughts within my journey of a world i hope and wish will never be...the fear in my heart and my broken thoughts and throbbing body still feels like I'm not here I want it to go away but it stays..for now I know, I can see you still responding to pain in a shock of a way as if you feel it but unaware of how bad it really is and how bad it was about to get...im so sorry I couldn't  save you I came back to my life as I was before I drifted to you and let the dreadful feeling consume me...

I'm now unable to stop the pain from scaring my checks as I now drift only a little to you with open eyes, I'm afraid and don't want to be.
the world I once envied and loved now a world i will fear until I know in my reality you are ok.

they say s**t happens but I say some s**t should never happen let alone ever even be known...i take a breath...breathe....1,2,3,4,5,6...7....
I figured I'll be ok if I focus on something else like numbers...i still feel that poison building around my pupil as if my body can still feel and see what I'm trying to forget as its being pushed off a cliff i made for shit I didn't want to remember within my head....'please god'..i say 'let me forget, and let these words I write forget as well so that when we cross again..this will only be a faint picture or nothing at all but words....for what will be...what is now an OBLIVIOUS PICTURE SHOW MEMORY.