Open Book Poem by Caroline Guedes

Just finished reading a book
Plot was twisted, filled with lies
About a little girl who was so afraid
of her parents, of the world outside
Grew up hardly saying a word
So quiet, seemed content but inside struggling
She saw and heard things no little girl should witness
No one saw her agony, constantly fumbling
Middle child, easy to ignore
She grew up thinking she was nothing
Saw the fights, heard the threats
afraid to spread her baby wings
Never really knew her Dad, He liked
to travel, he also liked prostitutes
Saw her mother lose control
was so full of anxiety, so shy at school too
Was taught not to ask questions
to fear her Mother, to listen and obey
and she did her whole childhood
until later on in her life she chose her way
Was in the front lines when her mom
battled addiction after the divorce
She was a teenager but not ready to
grow up so much, she had to take force
Didn't make enough money to support
her mom and sister with school and a part time job
Cried many times, hurt herself too
but eventually her prayers were heard from God
Her mom's all clean, Dad still distant
Sisters are scattered like the wind
They all have significant others but she's
alone and doesn't know where to begin
The thing I confess, I enjoyed most about
this book even though I cried many times
was that it left the future open for better things
For her happiness to truly find
But I don't think I'll read it again
as it brought back too many painful memories
You see that little girl was me
and I had just finished reading my diary