Ode To No.2 Poem by George Hunter

When I wake up from my slumber
I realize that two's the number.
Sleeping alone is so inferior
To two in bed which is superior.
In other things two is the best
It alone has stood the test.
What good's one shoe without the other
Or just one sock without its brother?
They say it still takes two to tango
And two to share a juicy mango.
And tea for two is more'n a notion
Especially in England across the ocean.
And think about old Noah's ark
Takes two of each to make that spark.
One of each wouldn't cut the mustard
It would have left the world all flustered.
And what about that English Queen
Who realized once upon a dream
That the number two was everything
And cried, "Oh balls! ,
If I had two I'd be the King."
We have a pair of everything
Even a birdie has two wings.
And it's twin peaks and twin cheeks
If it's pleasure that man seeks.
Two's the number, it's no surprise
We have two arms, legs, ears, and eyes
And also two hands, feet, and thighs.
If two is company, three's a crowd
So add one more if it's allowed.
That would make a double pair
Which certainly would seem more fair.
In poker, two pair of aces
Would win most pots in gambling places.
On my two-wheeler I get the notion
It takes two pedals to start the motion.
And two hands and two feet
To ride this bike upon the street.
In Zen, they say they hear one hand clapping
But really that's a lot of crapping.
‘Cause it takes two to play that game
One slapping air is not the same.
So it's two-ply, two bits, and 2 x 4
Two-stroke, two-step, two-edged, and more
And a bunch of others to even the score.
As I've said, two is superior
To one alone which is inferior
So I'll have to say good-bye to you
As I have to do a number two.
They say a healthy number two
Is something old folks like to do.
I wouldn't know, ‘cause I'm not there yet
But I will be soon on that I'd bet!