No Cabbage Poem by Ruth Walters

I don't like cabbages,
despise lumpy mattresses
and men that wield control with glee,
or cats that purloin my favourite seat,
I go my own way.
~~~~~
I don't like cabbages
or lettuce or Calamari,
or feeble women who
barf at rats or feeble men,
as a matter of fact.
~~~~~
I don't like cabbages
or mushy peas or brussel sprouts,
or humous dips
or mothers that serve me
half cooked chips.
~~~~~
I don't like cabbages or prawns
or wiggly worms or frogs in the garden
or snakes in the bathroom.
I met a snake once;
he was quite rude
~~~~~
so, I kicked his arse,
popped his face on Youtube.
I don't like cabbages, pop or Prosecco,
they give me a headache
and turn me dull yellow,
~~~~~
that churning I get,
just before bed,
when I need to chill out,
and just flop on my pillow,
fall foul of marshmallows.
~~~~~
Do you like cabbages?
They've folic acid in, vitamin c,
and they're very healthy,
so's
icky, broccoli,
~~~~~
but I don't like cabbages,
their scent's too ravaging,
gets right up my nose
and I find them quite damaging
I prefer doughnuts and ice cream for tea.