Emmanuel Arunee Mwanza

My Prayer

The world has become tough for me
It seems the things of this world have overtaken me
The world looks stronger than me
And yet you are so far from me
That’s how I feel
And it’s this feeling that frightens me;
I may seem to have tried hard but I know I haven’t tried hard enough
I move one step towards you and it seems I get back thousands of yards away from you
What frightens me most is that I feel like you have left me alone
I feel like you are thousands of miles from me
If that were the case I would not blame you though;
For everything around me in this world is wrong
What I watch, what I hear, how I speak, who I talk to…it's all wrong
And yet it’s the place I make my comfort zone…which is unethical
Dear God, am afraid…I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me;
But I see what I am now, though I don’t even understand it
I sin every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year…and then I repent same way
I can’t believe it, just in a flash I go back to my old ways, even soon after my confession
Too bad, even life is not even smooth for me, and I try to be strong;
People don’t see it and I know it that I am weak but am too afraid to tell them the truth
I cry inside, and cover it up with smiles…people think it is well with me…
Father, even though I do that, I breed inside…when I look at how much I sin against you;
It pains that you came to die for my sins and yet I choose to ignore your suffering
Oh! God, this world has become tougher for me…am afraid of so many things of the future;
Am afraid of my education, without you I see myself failing
Am afraid if am to be successful, and it’s your strength that I need
It is your presence that I seek
Your assurance is what I need most
And dear Father, I am afraid even of the next second, minute, hour… the future;
Because I know I am a sinner…and so am afraid of dying… I feel am not ready
Heavenly Father, please hold my hands and give me the courage that you are not far from me
Whisper into my ears and tell me you won’t live me solo in this lonely world
Touch me and heal me of my sins and so of my fear;
I know I am weak but help me that I should never fail to come back to you
Be there for me, make me feel it in my heart…that my future is certain in your hands
Let my heart love You and so I will sin no more
Make my brain think of you and think of the light not of darkness;
Let my prayer be that I live with you and die worshiping only you GOD
Remind me I am your child (son): help me not to be afraid of tomorrow
But assure me, no matter what happens in the next second, I should be your loyal servant;
Tell me that you will always receive and never tire of me as always
That way, I know that, though I am born in this world, I am not a citizen of this world
I belong to you my GOD and SAVIOUR……let this, be my prayer every day. AMEN

Submitted: Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, October 23, 2013

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