My Lovely Aunt Poem by sabrina seriva

I want to drown my sorrows in alcohol,  
Drown all of my memories,
Shoot through the images in my mind with pills,
Pop as many as I can,
Cut the words with simple slashes,
Watch the blood run,  
I want to drink till I get the warmth back,
Her warmth,
Alcohol is the only thing that makes me feel close to her,
I want to take these pills to erase all the devastating images,
Images of her beauty,
I want to slide this blade across my arms and legs to make me numb,
Make me numb and cold,  
Lifeless,
Like she was when I saw her in that coffin,
No.
It can't be.
I don't want to accept it.
I can't accept it.
I can't accept her death,
How could I?
I miss her so much,
I hear her voice as I pop the pills,
Hit the bottle, and move the thin sharp steel across my worthless skin.
She doesn't deserve to be gone,
I want to take her place.