Lover’s Suicide 2 Poem by Alexandra Gray
Lover’s Suicide 2
As I float & watch you from up here
I can’t help to kiss your face & silently whisper in your ear
My last goodbye & as I gave my final kiss to my sleeping angel, so peaceful & unaware
Although you can’t hear me now & never will, neither can you see me anywhere
For I am now forever lost
and taking one's life had been the cost
Even if you hadn’t loved me the way I wanted you
Nor have I had the chance to tell you how much I love you
For you only saw me as a mere friend
And gave your broken heart for others to mend
You did not see the hole you dug up in me
When you left me bleeding in agony
You never saw me wince behind my smiles,
Whenever you tell me how happy you are when she smiles
You never heard me when I tried to call you,
Because you only heard your name whenever she calls you
You never saw the tears in my eyes,
Whenever I saw your love for her in your eyes
You never felt the slice in my heart,
Whenever you tell me how both of you could never be apart
And you never believed me,
When I said 'you’re the world to me'
Instead you laughed, and told me 'that can never be'.
The two pieces of writing are a story that is well told. You brought the reader in to your life and feelings. The pain is real and felt. A worthy exercise for a broken heart. GW62
Both Love Suicide poems is a great piece. This one is my fav of the two. But this needs some light editing espically with your stanzas and verses. I suggest also to spell out 'And' when you start a verse. The emotion is touching and vivid and I sense you could even do more. Such as not only adding pain, and the heartbreak but a little expression of anger could be used. Well I Like the poem but I definately could see more done. And you can do it. Keep Writing.
this is very sad, so much hunger for love... must be a painful experience. but very nice poem indeed. keep it up
Much better, a good follow up. I give THIS one a 10.
very sad, but beautifully written. im adding it to my favorites. i can feel the hurt you've expressed in this poem. that may be because i too have felt that same pain, or maybe its just because youve writen it so good, but whatever the reason is, its awesome. fanastic job.100/100.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/1/2024 9:28:04 AM # 1.0.0.1119
another interesting poem. i like the way you use rhyme...............