Longing Crow Poem by Andrus Cassian

Red fish, blue fish, green fish, yellow fish
a rainbow in the pond, lets swim upstream
change the course of evolution, grow two feet and wings
proceed to fly like Pegasus to the end of the rainbow
find this pot of gold, a tale we only told
so we can finally begin the show:
Welcome to the show, a feeling so low
the day ticking by so slow
and I, with idle time for a minute or two
succeed at nothing but filling up the timeline with a meaningless copycat frame of mind
Salute the itinerary for keeping me in line
inside the crooked-straight lines
out of left field and into mines
let loose the explosion of memorable feeling
I'm lost in the darkness, what could this bring
sincerely, missing a key part of me
in this kaleidoscope maze universe of the world I circumvent
Shush now, hush now, be mute now
Nothing makes sense, to how I feel this very instant
nothing makes sense
A simple chord to pluck, a simple note to hit
but the only simple things are these subtle lullabies
I lie to throw out
I don't need sleep, I'm awake
What do I need to listen to, her voice is faint
and I reach, I reach, I reach
but all that reaching in the wishing well
for a way to somehow grab that lost coin
somehow give it a push for all the lost wishes never heard
as I uttered one yesterday
Me, as a whole, am a patient soul
though different personas take over throughout the day
out the door in break neck speed goes my patience
as I wallow in self destructive poison I can't comprehend
Where is this random assortment of story-telling leading
leading you on, leading you off
I tried to decorate this distraction manikin off as a song
a pure excuse, poor excuse of an ensemble to resemble a person
to get out one thing only:
I miss her...I miss her terribly; her company, her laughter
I have only the sound of her voice to play back
for as long as I need but a voice can't be all I need
I'm trying to push the want from my mind
dress up my longing in a blue sun dress for an amazing temptress
so I can turn to stone, live life like a statue alone
keep moving forward instead of stopping for
snacks and look-backs at good times once had
but in my mind, all I crave is the image of her face
I have memories, must I part with them
auction them off on Ebay
This is a mental disaster in open fray
all I hear are waterfalls when I want her love to call
the flower she planted in me, a timebomb
I have no earthly idea if I alone should water it
let it grow for her miraculous return
or let it wither, making room for something that will stick around
just a little while longer
Rain, rain, what are your thoughts
here you fall silent, mimicking tears only clouds can shed
but I hide in this shed because I'm afraid of your answer
I miss her, I guess that's enough
I miss her and her company, guess that I should
It's raining in Baltimore, it's raining in Baltimore baby
and somehow it sapped all the life out of me