Lies Poem by Alicia Renea Carpenter

I keep myself under wraps.
Let no one in
Don't get out
Keeps everyone at a distance
That's true
Keeps anyone from hurting me
That's true.

I can't hurt you
You can't hurt me.
But that, my friend, is a lonely life.
My world seems so hollow.
I feel like a fraud
Hoping no one can see me through my disguise.
Just fading in the background
Throwing on a pretty smile
And pretending i'm a perfect girl

But who am I really fooling?
I'm just a wannabe.
Theres a part of me that knows
Even when i'm putting up a fight
I'm still lying.
Manipulating others into thinking I care
Manipulating them into believing that i'm not empty.
When I don't feel it.
It can't be there right?

So what is love? What is pain? What is hate? What is joy?
I know none of these things
Because i've never physically felt them.
How about someone tells me how i'm supposed to feel
Tell me how I continue without failing
How I can quit lying without being cold and emotionless?
The answer is I can't.
The answer is it wont happen like that.
The answer is that I should just give up.
Cause let's just face it.
Who am I fooling?