Leaden Thoughts Poem by Nika McGuin

I'm compelled again
compelled by life
to spill my thoughts
heavy and full
of lead, once more
onto pages blank, and full
of silence, silent
like my cries
silent, like tears
that fall
without the slightest sound
for I too am falling
spiraling, into despair

The days blur into
each other and I
can not find the beginning
nor end, will this ever
end?

You see, I keep peeling
oranges hoping to find the center
hoping to find some comfort
in their sweetness

'Cause these days
I am feeling helpless again
The floorboards are so
cold, it has penetrated
even my soul, shivers
I find myself fighting
this massive tide
and losing; My voice
grows weaker each day

Still there are others
fighting larger tides
and with much stronger force
at the sight of them
I am engulfed by shame

~Nika