It's No Fun Poem by John Carter Brown

It's no fun when you're lacking in stature
When your body's deficient in height;
When your nickname is tiny, or shorty
Why, it keeps you awake half the night.

It's no fun when you're out with your buddies
And you go to the bar for a beer;
When the landlord shouts, 'Right then, who's next please? '
And you wonder, am I really here?

It's no fun when a light-bulb needs changing
And you try to effect a repair;
And you stretch, but experience tells you
That you'll STILL have to stand on a chair.

It's no fun when you look at your neighbours
And your eyes are as green as can be,
And you reckon it's all in the hormones
Saying, 'That's why they're taller than me! '

Oh give me an inch on my shoulders
Or a foot or two under my feet,
And I'd stand up and proudly be counted,
Being seen to have risen from my seat.

(Written Dec 1996)